Upstate Girl (1989)

Sung to Billy Joel’s “Uptown Girl”

My friend Marc Lor hailed from New Orleans, Louisiana. His bride, Rita Slutsky, had moved to Atlanta from New York. Their happy but unlikely pairing inspired this song.

In 2015, I would use the same tune at work for Optum Girl.

First, Billy Joel’s Upstate Girl:

And now, Upstate Girl; sorry, there’s no video; just a photo and the lyrics. I introduced the song in a black suit. As the opening notes approached, I peeled off my jacket and trousers and donned a straw hat, assuming the persona of a Southern hick.

Upstate Girl (1989)

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh,

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ohhh,

Upstate girl;

she’s been lookin’ in her upstate world;

She-thought-she’d-never wed a Southstate guy;

I’ll bet her shadkin* never noodged** her to try, (*matchmaker) (**hounded)

Now see her vie for a Southsate lad,

Cause she’s been huddlin’-in-her pint-size pad,

As long as any gal with charge cards can,

And now she’s lookin’ for a large-hearted man;

That’s what I am.

And when she glances across the mechitza*, (curtain dividing men’s section from women’s)

She’ll take her chances on someone who needs her,

She’ll hike down here to pray,

Here to stay,

Y’all say, “Hey!” for my upstate jewel,

She’s gettin’ leery of her yupstate* shul, (*YUP= Young Upwardly mobile Professional)

She’s gettin’ weary of their Westside airs,

And growin’ wary of their winks and stares—

Between their prayers.

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh,

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ohh.

Upstate prize,

She’s tired of listening to her yupstate guys,

She’s tired a’hearin’ ’bout the clothes they wear,

An’ all the twenty-somethin’ babes out there—

She doesn’t care.

And when she’s over the poseurs who passed her up,

And she’s through rovin’ across the Diasapora*, (dispersement of Jews worldwide)

She’ll see I’m not so treif*, (nonkosher)

Not too frumm*, (religiously observant)

Not too safe for an upstate gal,

She’s tired-a-payin’ for her hip locale,

Ain’t gonna ante up ho uprate rent,

She says she’s ready for a cut-rate gent—

May I present?

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh,

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ohh.

Upstate girl,

She’s my upstate gir-r-rl,

’Cause ya know I’m in love with an upstate girl,

My yupstate girl,

I’m in Heaven above for my upstate girl,

My yupstate gir-r-rl,

’Cause ya know I’m in love with an upstate girl,

My yupstate girl …