Mama Ramayama (2012)
Sung to Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi”
Performed in January 2012 for the farewell lunch for Legal Affairs chief Janet Gnerlich of the Department of Homeland Security’s Office of General Counsel, Washington, DC
I wrote this parody over the weekend, using the tune the lawyers had assigned me and drawing on bullet points that they had sent me. The lawyers here love it! They'll be rehearsing it at 3pm today and singing it to Jan, the head lawyer, tomorrow at her retirement party.
Ramayana is an Indian play that Jan's daughter directed in Washington, DC. Jan was beaming with pride at the reviews earned by her daughter's work.
And Lady Gaga’s original song:
Mama Ramayama (Lyrics)
She’s-more than a CAPO or an A, GC; (Assistant General Counsel)
She’s-a-roving advisor,
With the wisdom of Yoda, and tales to share;
We made such a pretty pair.
Legal by training, but
Southern by Grace,
Former fencer and pilot,
With a mystical Eight Ball, whose magic shocks;
Now it’s yours for a Staples box.
And we’re found’ring on the rocks:
(chorus:)
Wherever you may go,
From Tennesee to Yokohama,
Mama Ramayana,
`We want you to know,
You’ll always be our Dalai Lama,
Mama Ramayana.
From Paris or Brazil,
Deliver us ONE last codicil.
Lady of the Law,
We’re yours until the final comma,
Mama Ramayana.
Look what she’s left us: some bugs for Bob,
Here’s a dollop o’ dog sperm,
For fisherman [Marshall?], a can o’ worms;
Tina bagged a book o’ germs.
Daughter director plays catch-and-release,
But the girl is a hotshot, a chip off the block and
Jan hates to boast,
But did you catch the Sunday Post?
And may I propose a toast?
(chorus:)
Wherever you may go,
From Tennesee to Yokohama,
Mama Ramayana,
`We want you to know,
You’ll always be our queen of drama,
Mama Ramayana.
From Paris or Brazil,
Deliver us ONE last codicil.
Lady of the Law,
We’re yours until the final comma,
Mama Ramayana.
(Style! Flair!)
Sweater, she put the lady in.
Time-share!
On the border Canadian.
D.C.--is a happening scene,
But `she’s headin’ South for pas! tures! green!
(chorus:)
Wherever you may go,
From Tennesee to Yokohama,
Mama Ramayana,
`You lit up our show
With-the `glamor of Michelle Obama,
Mama Ramayana.
From Paris or Brazil,
Deliver us ONE last codicil.
Lady of the Law, we’re yours until the final comma,
Mama Ramayana....
