Only the Frumm Die Young (1993)

Sung to “Only the Good Die Young” by Billy Joel (1977)

The Hebrew word frumm (pronounced like the first syllable of hummus or kumbaya) means religiously observant.

First, Billy Joel (1978):

Only the Frumm Die Young (1993)

Come out, Devorah, no reason to pout,

I’ll-give-ya-rhyme for your reason and reason for doubt,

Time-to-trade Shalt Nots for one good Shalt;

The shaltin’ has just begun—

Well, they-gave you a siddur* so-you’d-join their parade, (*prayer book)

They-marched you to shul* while the seculars played, (*synagogue)

Now-you’re-findin’ your girlhood slippin’ away

From places it might have gone:

Only the frumm die young!

That’s what I said!

Only the frumm die young!

Only the frumm die young.

What’s-good for the body is good for the soul,

Ya don’t need their-’round-the-clock rig-a-marole,

My Rock of Ages is a-rock and roll

Ah, but rollin’ never hurt no one.

So come-on, Devorah, step-into-my car,

You’ll-learn-a-thing-or-two on my VCR,

If-your-buttoned-up collar has left you a scar

It-can-readily be undone—

Darlin’ only the frumm die young!

That’s what I said!

Only the frumm die-i-i young!

Only the frumm die young.

You gave a fine long drash, oh Devorah, for your bat mitzvah, (*sermon; Biblical explanation)

You’ve got a heart of gold,

Oooh, and-the-complete ArtScroll* (An American publisher of Jewish religious books)

But you gotta face your yetzer, hara*, before it hits ya (*evil inclination; source of temptation)

Oh, you didn’t plan for me

When you were chantin’ your-Modeh Ani* (*one of the morning prayers)

Oh, woh, woh.

Your stairway to Heaven ain’t holdin’ so tight,

It won’t getcha higher than my StairMaster Lite

I’d-rather-sit with the sinners than climb with the saints;

We’ll end on a lower rung—

Don’tcha know that only the frumm die young!

That’s what I said!

Only the-frumm die-i-i-i young!

Only the frumm die young.

(Saxophone)

Ya said your rebbe* said I’d give an unorthodox education; (*rabbi)

Oh, he never k’velled* for me, (*swooned, fainted from happiness)

But why’d his brocha* stay withheld for me? (*blessing)

Oh-woh-woh.

Come out, Devorah while you’re still fair-haired,

Bais Yaakov* girls live much too scared; (*Orthodox Jewish girls’ elementary and high schools)

But ready or not it-comes down to b’shairt

When your Sh’ma* is said and done— (*The Jewish prayer affirming belief)

Remember only the frumm die young.

That’s what I said!

Only the frumm die young!

Only the frumm die young.

Only the frummmm!

Only the frumm die young.

Ooh- oooh,

Ooh-hoooh …