An Orthodox Man (1983)

Sung to “An Innocent Man” by Billy Joel (1983)

In this song, I voiced the ambivalence I felt, as an Orthodox single, when dating secular women. I might want it to work, but it couldn’t.

By 1994, my tune would change. The next year, I would “marry out,” leaving Orthodoxy and marrying a non-observant Jewish woman.

Billy Joel, singing An Innocent Man:

An Orthodox Man (1993)

What started fresh in the promise of Spring

Has coolly vanished in the Autumn air;

We thought our love would surmount all odds

But it won’t and we don’t have a prayer.

We did our best

To believe we were blessed,

And Darlin’ Heaven knows we really tried;

But-somethin is wrong when our yin and our yong

And our worlds and our wherefores collide.

It doesn’t mean it was wrong from the start,

Or that I’ll hate you ’til Death do us part—

It only means that we both have our flaws, our beliefs and our laws,

So Darlin’ you go your way, I’ll go mine;

Don’t wanna change you, estrange you from friends,

Or exchange bitter grapes for your wine.

I-wish-you-the best, in this life and the next,

I wish you ev’rything you’ll ever plan;

You’re-a-heavenly girl, you belong to this world,

You’d be wrong for an Orthodox ma-a-a-an.

(instrumentals)

I a-a-a-am,

An Orthodox ma-a-a-an!

Oh yes I a-a-a-am.

I’ve-said-it before, that it ain’t “either/or”

You’ve-got-your prejudice, I got my pride;

I wouldn’t steal you away from yours,

And you couldn’t live out a lie.

Sometimes-we-confuse

An “and” with an “or”

Sometimes we choose to make an “is” an “ought.”

But when we must choose between home and shalom, (*peace)

We don’t really have what we thought.

You know it just would get worse if I stayed;

You know it’s time we wrapped up this charade.

It’s time we bid Adios, Sayona, Arrivederch Au revoir,

You can tell all your friends I played the fool;

You’ll take a week in the south of France,

And I’ll take my seat in the shul*. (*synagogue)

I get cool, I get hot, Mr. Righteous I’m not,

I’m known to buck Divine command;

But-Babe-it’s-clear that the buck stops here

Because I am an Orthodox ma-a-a-an!

(instrumentals)

I a-a-a-am

An Orthodox ma-a-a-an—

Oh yes, I a-a-a-am

An Orthodox Ma-a-a-an.

You know the truth ain’t always easy to see;

I know you say that I’m afraid to be free—

You may be right but it don’t change the gist,

How we turn and we twist,

We’ve had enough of good bad goodbyes;

Enough debatin’ the beds and the bees

And the don’ts and the do’s and the why’s.

You-take-me-naive, so-when-you’re ready to leave,

Well-you-can-take-or-leave-me as-I am,

But always remember the way that it was

To be loved by an Orthodox man.

I a-a-a-am

An Orthodox ma-a-a-an!

Oh yes, I a-a-a-am,

An Orthofox ma-a-a-an.

Oh-woh-ho-ho.