On BJ (1991)

Sung to “On Broadway”

BJ stands for Beth Jacob Synagogue in Atlanta, Georgia (USA). I wrote this lyric for BJ’s 1991 Purim play. It was performed by Rick Rosenthal, impersonating our junior rabbi, Ilan Feldman. There was ample choreography by Chani-something. For the musical bridge, Rick danced with a pop-out cane.

On Broadway was written by Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil in collaboration with the team of Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller.

First, On Broadway, sung by The Drifters (1963):

On BJ (1991)

They say my sermons wax too long, on B-J,

I lack the “classic” finish of my dad;

But no one shuckles, with more elan, (genuflects during prayer)

Or brings more shekels, to the dayyy school fund,

Yeah-I’m-the-City-Fathers’ fav’rite son, on B-J.

They say the junior post is mine, on B-J,

But junior wages leave my spirit lame;

’Cause how ya gonna payyy for food

Or braces for thuhhh Feldman brood

When half the board thinks “Junior” is your name?

They say that I won’t last too long, on B-J,

I’ll hitch a U-Haul north to Balti-mohh, -woah, -oh-er;

But home is where I’ll-ll take my stand,

I’m livin’ in myyy prommmmised land,

Now watch me a I take command on B-J.

(instrumentals; he dances.)

I’ll win their faith, I’ll earn my pay,

When-I-lay-on-the-guilt—at Kol Nidre* (*the mea culpa prayer recited on Yom Kippur),

And I won’t rest ’til Judgement Day on B-J.

On B-J,

Ain’t gonna shuffle in Daddy’s shadow no more!

Gonna be a big, big, big rav*! (pulpit rabbi)!

I’ll be the scourge of the Atlanta Jewish Times!

I’ll be quoted in the Rolling Stone!

I’ll shuckle down the B-J. …

I’ll shuckle down the B-J. …