My Wife (1993)

Sung to My Life by Billy Joel (1978)

I performed this in Baltimore at a Jewish Singles lunch. After the show, a woman, Pat Ford, came up and told me she had enjoyed my songs. She became my girlfriend.

I wrote this song to criticize Orthodox Jews who judged other Orthodox Jews for being—or appearing to be—-less observant.

First, Billy Joel’s My Life:

My Wife (1993)

Deena Lebbie lit up the American dance hall

’Til our rebbe* denounced the American way; (*rabbi)

Packed the cat, fled the flat, hopped a red-eye to the West Wall,

Now she preaches negiah* to girls at Nevai. (*laws against touching) (**girls’ seminary)

(instrumentals)

She don’t need you to show her the way to Divine life;

You don’t need to remind her the fine points of frumm*; (*Orthodoxy)

I don’t care what our neighbors declare, this is my wife;

Say a prayer for your own wife, leave mine alone—

She never said she’d be fulfillin’ ev’ry alef ’n bais, (*Hebrew letters)

She never said she’d chant t’hillim* as she ExerSkates. (*psalms)

She took your schools,

But-she-read between your rules;

So you can lay your laws—

But not on my wife.

First you tell her she can’t see a Hollywood movie,

Then you tell her she can’t watch the six o’clock news;

Prithee tell me who’s mindin’ your nefesh Yehudi* (*Jewish soul)

While you’re mindin’ whose hemline is higher than whose?

(instrumentals)

She don’t need you to show her the way to Divine life;

She ain’t askin’ the whens and the wherefores of frumm*;

I don’t care what our neighbors declare, this is my wife;

Say a prayer for your own wife, leave mine alone.

She never said she’d drape her dresses to the mikva* floor (*Jewish ritual bath)

Or cover up her golden tresses at the health-food store.

She still believes;

Don’t-rend your snow-white sleeves

Oh you can lay your hands—

But not on my wife.

(instrumentals)

I don’t care what your neighbors declare, this is my wife;

Say a prayer for your own wife, leave mine alone—

Keep it to yourself, she’s my wife …

Keep it to yourself, she’s my wife …

Keep it to yourself, she’s my wife …

Keep it to yourself, she’s my wife …